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| Sometimes I feel a little underappreciated... Today is that day. Maybe tomorrow will be better, but I doubt it. *pout pout... | | |
| I read this book in 2 days and now I'm a wreck.. Oh my God. That's all I've got. | | |
| Hmm. Sometimes I think I have such a hard marriage. A man who is SO driven that he forgets he has a wife and a family. A house that we can barely afford. Cars that take too much gas that costs too much money. 2 kids, which I really love, but are REALLY difficult at times. Tonight I remembered that I am REALLY Lucky. I have a really great husband that LIKES me. I do. When I was 17 I had a baby. With my boyfriend at the time, who wasn't the greatest guy. He was cute, and really sweet, and in a band. and I loved him. but. So, I get pregnant with his baby and we both say "we cannot do this" So we do all the steps and our baby boy was adopted by a really great family. A nice couple that had been trying for 10 years to have kids and they just couldn't. Of course they have money too, so they could give our sweet boy what we couldn't. Trips to Hawaii, a house, you know things like that. Soon after we gave that baby boy up we split up. Not for lack of trying, but when you go through something like that at 17, I don't think you are prepared for the emotions you go through. Well, our son turned 12 in April. Every year I make sure to email the birth dad, just to make sure we keep intouch. Not for any reason other than we shared this thing and no one else can understand what we went through really, cause they were not there. Also, the adoption was left open so we have pictures and letters for the first 4 years of our sons life. So, we also keep in contact in the hopes that one day he will find one of us and not have to look so hard for the other one. We have agreed to write a letter requesting some info about him and some pictures.. we should get something, each of us, in a month. This is why I have a really great husband. I waited until the right time or an easy time to tell him that I've been talking to my ex about our son. He said yes, you should do that. you should keep in contact with him for you son. He said you should talk to him about your feelings if you need to. he said only the two of you really know what it was like to do what you did when you did it. He told me to call him if I needed to. and he told me that he is really looking forward to an update.. on my son, that I had with another man. Yes it was before him, but I as a woman who may be a little insecure... would have some sort of problem with that, even if I wanted to not have a problem with it. My oh my.. I couldn't sleep, I am just thinking about my 12 year old son and what he looks like now... and how sweet my husband can really be. | | |
| The sun came out. Thursday, Friday, Saturday.. and Today too! Can you believe that? I am shocked. And a little sunburned. Thursday and Friday I worked, then my sweet sweet friend Jess worked for me, so I could go do "mothers day" with my mother in law. We didn't make it out to see her last weekend cause everyone was so sick. So saturday morning we got up and went to Taekwondo then got in the 100 degree car and drove for an hour to her house. It was very nice, we sat in the back yard, visited, made fruit salad and burgers and chilled. Or cooked our asses off if you really want to know.. it was 95 degrees! The other reason we went up there was to dig out a plant that she wanted to give me. it's huge and it was hot, so that was fun, but Honey got them all planted today and I'm glad that's over! :) So today, we had 2 birthday parties to go to. The first was for our neighbors, so we hung out there till 2, then took baths and got ready to drive to the second party, which is were the uncomfortability comes in. My honey's cousin was there, the one that hasn't talked to him in 5 years. Here I am, without Honey, and Honey's cousin is trying to be nice, but I am so confused about what to do. I was pleasant, introduced him to the kids, and made eye contact. I hope things change, that was the strangest position I've been in in along time. I came home and emailed him. Told him that I didn't like that position, or the way we left things and hopefully we can have a conversation, just something to break the ice again. I do miss him, and I KNOW that my honey misses him, they are practically brothers. blech... I am rambling, just to get this crap off my chest. I must do laundry... but here's come cute pictures... This is what we did before work on friday.. ahhhhh... the sun... I too, wanted to get into a swimsuit and frolic in the sprinkler. But I was behaved and just giggled as THEY frolicked.. :)    look at her tiny little booty in that bikini.. she's ridiculously cute.
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